It is interesting that the mind can go to great lengths to deceive us in order to protect the ego, confirm personal beliefs or avoid difficulty. Becoming aware of these subtle tricks and impulses can lead to a deeper understanding of yourself, others and life at large. Here 4 lessons about human nature that I learned:
People Do Not Care About What You are Doing
Everyone is doing something in life, whether good or bad. There is a craving for recognition of your situation since there is a tendency to feel self-importance, even when it is undeserved.
Even surface-level questions that people ask, such as “how’s it going with…” do not necessarily mean they are genuinely curious; sometimes people just want to pry.
One of the lessons about human nature I learned, through analyzing myself and others, is that people are too busy with their own lives to pay attention to mine. With that in mind, if you are making progress in life (through personal or professional endeavours), seeking external validation for it can quickly disappoint you. Ensure there is enough internal fulfilment from what you do that self-satisfaction matters more than social praise.
Self-Confidence Can Breed Envy and Assumptions
Many people have a yearning for feeling self-confident, and rightly so; it is a positive trait that can change many aspects of your life for the better. See here for more information on how to create self-confidence.
But even though there are many upsides, there are also downsides that you should be made aware of once you have embodied this trait. They come from the responses in others, when people notice the aura that you are exuding. Some do not have any self-confidence, and naturally may feel envy toward you for having what they lack; especially from those who are close to you. Others may assume that you are conceited, mistaking the belief you have in yourself for a sense of superiority.
Once you understand and notice these reactions in others (such as microexpressions or tonality), it is important to not dwell on them. Yes, you might be curious about where someone may stand with how you present yourself, but do not take it too far by questioning yourself constantly. Self-confidence is a necessity, so be grateful you have found it.
You Can Foster Better Connections by Showing Interest in Others
Naturally people like to talk about themselves, since we are at the centre of our own individual universe. Some however, take it too far. These people justify making every conversation about themselves by mistakenly believing that their opinions are more important than anyone else’s on the basis of having experiences that they deem are more unique or more extreme.
Of course, this is not a good recipe for making friends. No one is interested in someone who has nothing but themselves to talk about. And believe it or not, there are many people who are like this, so it is also expected at times.
To separate yourself from these types and genuinely create good connections, ask someone about their life and their experiences. The prerequisite to this strategy is to actually care about other people, so ensure you are at least curious as a way to work your way to that point if this is not you. In response, others may be more inclined to get to know about you as a form of reciprocation. As a result, your character will be shown in a positive light, and the people you talk to may be more interested in friendship.
Thinking and Acting Calmly Gives You an Advantage
In times of stress, sometimes our default reaction is to panic and show emotion. When that happens, we become even more stressed as panic leads us to think of the worst-case scenario, heightening anxiety. Ultimately we lose our ability to rationalize in a situation, creating difficulty when trying to find logical solutions.
Let us say you are with 3 friends and are driving on a road trip in a remote area, when suddenly both of your front tires get torn. Upon realizing there is only one spare tire in the trunk and no cell service to call for assistance, all of your friends start panicking. You however, assess what happened, what the current situation is, and think of ways to solve the problem. If everyone in the car were to collectively panic, it would take much longer for someone to do something about it.
Not only are you able to be more productive when thinking this way, but you can also reassure those around you that a problem is solvable. This quells people’s anxiety and creates a less chaotic environment for everyone. Try and remember this as one of the lessons about human nature that is within your control.