Why Is Self-Confidence Important?
Self-confidence is one of those qualities that will put you ahead in life. There is no way around the fact that acting, and more importantly thinking confidently will add value in all settings possible. You might be alone and working on something like a side project; and soon realize that self-confidence in your abilities, whatever they may be, will allow you to produce better work. You might be out one night with a friend or friends, and realize that without self-confidence, the chances of you getting that girl’s number are going to be very low. This is what I mean when I say that the setting does not matter. However, this is a multi-faceted quality that requires mastery of other qualities to really cultivate. Which is why I’d like to get into a full-fledged guide to building self-confidence:
Change Your Self-Image
Chances are, if you’re googling how to improve your self-confidence, it’s because you have a poor self-image This is the root of it all. It doesn’t make sense that someone could truly be self-confident if they constantly denigrate themselves or see themselves as inferior. Rather, a self-confident person carries high self-esteem and believes that they’re of value to the world. And sometimes this mindset requires radical change if you’re not necessarily in the best position in life. In other words, even when you shouldn’t see yourself as a valuable person to the world, you can still think that way. Even if others are questioning your worth. This is because you’re still going to go to bed and wake up the next morning as the same person. It’s not like you can just abandon who you are; you have to learn to love yourself. So even in the worst of times – down and out, without a job, without any women in your life or with a laughable reputation – it’s in your best interest to look internally at who you want to see yourself as. But don’t misinterpret this. Your situation might very well be undesirable; realistically, you might not have a lot of prospects if you continue down an aimless path. But you do not have to attach your identity to your situation.
Once you’ve found a positive, powerful view of yourself, then you can start operating with more self-confidence. Very seldom will you shy away in social settings as you’ll start realizing that no one is above you. Keep in mind, facts are facts: there will always be someone out there that has more than you, or is better than you at something, but that doesn’t mean they are worth more than you. Individually, you bring certain strengths to the table that another person does not; hence what it means to be an individual. Therefore, embracing your unique qualities and abilities will allow you to see yourself in a more positive light – and consequently shine that light while coexisting with others. And when alone, you’ll have no problem with being in your own company as you’re content with the image you’ve created of yourself. Why wouldn’t you enjoy contemplating, relaxing, working by yourself if you have such a powerful view?
I’ve been listening to a book called Psychocybernetics by Maxwell Maltz as he explains in detail how important this whole concept is to your wellbeing. I highly recommend checking it out using the link below.
Master Skills
Another trait that is crucial to building self-confidence is mastering a skill. Competence is confidence. When you hold authority over a particular domain, you have belief in your ability to do the task at hand. However, it’s best to narrow down on one thing at a time. For example, let’s say you want to become proficient at writing, photography and dancing, It’s a plus that your mind is broad enough to desire many abilities, but for the sake of clarity and focus, start with one. Let’s say writing. After doing your research and applying what you learn consistently, you’ll eventually become good at writing. Your self-confidence will then increase every time your life demands you to write because you took the time to master that skill (and there are plenty of times in life that writing will be necessary). Then, maybe as a possible passion of yours, you might want to take up photography. If this is something of interest to you, check out the brand Ulanzi here for all your video accessory needs. The same process applies, and eventually you can take pleasure in the fact that you have one more tool under your belt to possibly utilize. Plus, internet accessibility makes it easy to acquire new skills these days.
Push Just Beyond Your Sense of Fear
Come to terms with the fact that you have fears; an honest, growth-driven person is one who embraces them. Instead of driving your own ego, falsely convincing yourself that there is nothing you are afraid of, you could alternatively put yourself in a position to confront whatever it may be that’s holding you back. Then, just when you think you can’t go any further, push just beyond that sense of anxiety. In this process, you’re learning that you have more courage than previously thought; and courage is a stepping stone to self-confidence. This notion is actually found in David Deida’s book, The Way of the Superior Man. As a man, I highly recommend other men to read it as it covers many areas of developing your masculine frame; and personally, the point I just covered is among my favourite life lessons.
In addition, I’m also taking into consideration that some people are simply less willing to put themselves in uncomfortable situations. If that’s the route you want to choose, just know that you won’t be able to grow emotionally and mentally. But I personally believe anyone is capable of doing so. So though it might require a radical shift in behaviour, you’d be surprised at how much you’ll learn about yourself and what you can do in life if you go beyond that uncomfortable point. Once you do it for the first time (if you haven’t already tried in the past), you’ll find that consistently trying it in other areas will increase your self-confidence over time.
Stop Lying to Yourself and to Others
Lying is a bad habit that is usually learned early in life. You realized that you can get away with anything you want if you simply conceal the truth through your words. Due to how easy this is and what it could mean for your own personal gain, it might have been appealing then and even now. Now, assuming you have a conscience, think of one of the most blatant lies you ever told, and how you felt when you had to go to bed that night. Or even to this day when looking in hindsight. Yeah, you might have gotten what you wanted, but chances are that it made you feel worse about yourself knowing that you lacked courage and transparency in that moment. Not to mention knowing that your credibility would be shattered if others found out the truth. If this act becomes a habit in your life, does that sound like something that would positively or negatively impact your self-confidence? The answer is obvious.
Now, look internally. What do you tell yourself every day about yourself or the world at large that you know to be false? There might be an underlying reason for that lie which helps justify your views, but you’ll only discover that if you dig deep into your psyche. Willful blindness – as heard in Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life – is a contribution to a lost grip on reality. To my earlier point about laying in bed, reflecting on your lies, the consequences of lying to yourself are arguably more serious because you have to live with the fact that you’re convincing yourself of things that are quite clearly untrue. And when – not if – you get a reality check, your self-esteem and perceptions will be shattered – along with your self-confidence. So do yourself a favour and tell yourself the truth, no matter how difficult.