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Personal Development

5 Valuable Lessons from The Laws of Human Nature

Robert Greene, author of The Laws of Human Nature, wrote an eye-opening layout of our wiring and tendencies as social creatures. Using real-life stories of people throughout history to back up his points, he both engages and educates us. Reading this book will give you a better understanding of yourself and of others. Here are five valuable lessons from The Laws of Human Nature:

The Law of Irrationality: Master Your Emotional Self

As humans, we have a proclivity to react and live life based on our emotions – rather than rationality. And they’re such a dominating force that they have the ability to disconnect us from reality, leading to bad decisions and negative patterns. 

What’s more is you’re largely unaware of your irrational self and how much it contributes to your decision-making processes. 

A fitting example Robert Greene uses is feeling anger toward someone else but not realizing that the anger really stems from envy. A person might label the feeling as anger because envy is not something they’re comfortable with admitting to themselves as having. So it’s exchanged for a more palatable emotion. 

As with anything, awareness can be the source of change in a problematic pattern or deep neurotic feeling.  

To that point, The Laws of Human Nature advises to recognize the biases you hold and your specific trigger points to help bring out your rational side. 

For example, you might notice a conviction bias within yourself, which is if you hold onto an idea that is emotionally pleasing to you even if you might have some doubts about its truth. Working to rid yourself of this cognitive bias may help prevent you from divorcing from reality; and that, in turn may lessen the likelihood of making the same bad decisions again.

Finally, practical strategies such as examining the roots of your emotions and accepting people as facts can further detach you from your irrational self. 

This mindset shift is a valuable one, so it would be in your best interest to integrate and apply it. For information on other useful mindset shifts, check out my post here.

The Law of Shortsightedness: Elevate Your Perspective

Getting caught up in the excitement or drama of the present is intrinsic to us as humans. 

This includes the allure of fast financial gain (or fast results of any kind), the opinions and actions of those around you and the latest trends or news.

But by falling victim to this, you can fail to recognize the bigger picture that surrounds the present or the potential consequences that could come from it. 

To some degree, this is inevitable. Sometimes it takes time to put experiences into perspective and see the bigger picture because in the moment, we often can’t do that. 

But it is possible to look more deeply into what is happening and then make decisions accordingly.

You can look at some signs of shortsightedness in your daily life and work to overcome them. These include unintended consequences of your words or actions; losing sight of your long-term goals by continuing with an endeavour for the wrong reasons; distracting yourself through technology and decreasing your attention span; and losing sense of your priorities by focusing on all details of information or trends. 

To read other valuable lessons, you can find The Laws of Human Nature here.

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The Law of Self-Sabotage: Change Your Circumstances by Changing Your Attitude

It’s very easy to internalize a negative circumstance or series of circumstances. If you or others around you are being affected by forces out of your control, you can easily become bitter, angry, depressed or resentful in response. 

This can also happen as a result of less dramatic circumstances. Exchanges with family, friends or others during your upbringing that have shaped you into the person you are.

If not addressed properly, neurotic feelings experienced as a result of those times can stay trapped throughout life. 

By constantly viewing life through a negative lens – such as fear or suspicion – it will reflect onto your relationships, career or any other meaningful endeavours. 

If you can instead transform that negative internalization into something positive, all of those domains will prove to be more fruitful. 

You can start by viewing yourself differently. Self-imposed flaws and limitations should be perceived as malleable so that personal development is more possible. 

From there you can more easily turn your attention toward others, learning to be more tolerant and open-minded. Because you can resonate with undesirable thought patterns and behaviour better and show more compassion once you’ve left that state. 

The Law of Repression: Confront Your Dark Side

Inside all of us is a dark side, or shadow, consisting of insecurities and selfish impulses that are hidden from public view. They’re usually concealed better when masked with the opposite trait (like a confident demeanour masking an insecure one).

This isn’t something to be worried about because it’s simply a part of human existence. 

But it becomes a problem when stress activates your dark side without your awareness.

Without proper awareness, you could potentially harm relationships and damage your own reputation. 

Equally important is the ability to be aware of the signs in others you socialize with often, as you could be a victim to their behaviour. 

Some signs to look for in yourself and others alike include contradictory behaviour, emotional outbursts and projection. 

To avoid letting your dark side become a burden in your own life, The Laws of Human Nature advises you to integrate it into your personality. 

First, see the shadow and recognize where it came from. For example, if you have a deep mistrust in people, maybe your mother betrayed you in the past by gossiping to others after confiding in her. 

Then, embrace it as a part of your personality. But channel the negative aspect of it into something that will benefit you. Using the example above, channel the deep mistrust you have into critical thinking; to question most of what you learn and hear so as not to be gullible or misinformed. 

Next, explore your dark side’s creativity. Since it’s a part of your subconscious, learn to apply any ideas you learn from it to some sort of outlet. As an actor, for instance, you can bring out a raw, interesting side of you that others will appreciate. 

Finally, balance your personality by occasionally showing that side of you to the world. Coming across as imperfect will signal authenticity to others. This will make you more trustworthy and likeable.

The Law of Envy: Beware the Fragile Ego

Another commonality we all share is the compulsion to compare ourselves with others. With status, looks, resources and so on.

Like all of the other compulsions mentioned above, there is a point at which it turns to your detriment.

The Laws of Human Nature describes this as happening when it becomes deep envy, leading to feelings of inferiority and frustration. From there you can unleash it onto those you envy through covert attacks or sabotage.

If you find that you happen to be the envied and not the envier, look for the signs in others. They include micro expressions, poisonous praise, backbiting and the push and pull method.

If you’re the one being targeted by someone, it’s best to simply keep your distance from that person. There’s no telling what lengths another person might go to in order to right their feelings of inferiority.

As the envier, you can take measures to avoid the downward spiral of its associated emotions.

Firstly, move closer to what you envy.

By keeping your distance often, you tend to exaggerate the successes that person experiences – failing to remember that they make mistakes like the rest of us. But staying within their proximity reminds you that they do indeed have those moments, and can even assure you that there are disadvantages to what they have.

Next, engage in downward comparisons.

Instead of following through with the natural inclination to compare yourself with those who have more, do so with those who have less. As a result, this will stimulate empathy for those who are less fortunate than you while helping you stay grateful for what you have in your own life.

Robert Greene also mentions an interesting concept called Mitfreude – to show joy for someone as they experience something positive. It’s quite clearly a better option for you emotionally than its opposite, Schadenfreude, but one that may take some time to adjust to if your default reaction to others is one of envy.

Finally, transmuting envy into admiration is arguably the best antidote to envy. Rather than festering in your neurotic feelings and doing nothing about them, use them as fuel to bring yourself to the level of the person you envy.

Admiring a person for what they have is showing appreciation for human greatness, but competing for what they have is signalling that you’re just as capable of achieving that greatness.

I personally like using this approach.

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