True confidence sets you apart from the majority of people, but because it’s such a desirable quality, you might be tempted to act more confidently than you actually are. This is a problem because you’re not being honest with your inner-self and about the image you’re projecting to the world. Self-deceit and deceit to others in this way will inevitably come back to you in the form of regret or shame. Here are four ways to tell if you’re truly confident:
Your Self-Image is Healthy
Confidence in yourself can always be traced back to how healthy your self-image is. And as talked about at length in previous posts, self-image is the cornerstone of all areas of mental health – including self-confidence.
Because your self-image determines how valuable you see yourself in relation to the world, it naturally will bleed into your thinking and behaviour patterns. The guy who believes he’s inferior in many qualities to everyone else will show that to the world through slouched body language and a complacent, unfulfilling lifestyle.
But some might want to instead trick themselves into believing they’re the opposite when they know they really aren’t. And as a result, that self-deceit will project itself onto others as mentioned above.
To avoid that temptation and truly develop a healthy self-image, learn to love yourself and appreciate all that you offer and can offer to the world. See here for more information on this.
If you’re really struggling with this and would like some professional guidance, try Online Therapy. They offer qualified therapists who will help you from start to finish, plus call, video call, text, live chat and email messaging options to fit your communication preferences.
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You Embrace Failure
Some people say that confidence means having no expectation of failure or rejection. But because the world is unpredictable, that can happen to anyone.
So a truly confident person should really be preparing for any outcome and being okay with whatever that outcome is.
It’s important to enter into an endeavour with an optimistic view of things, believing in your abilities so that you have the best chance of success. But if you get rejected by that girl or don’t get that job, being able to accept that and not take it personally is a key indicator of true confidence.
Realizing that rejection is a part of life is very important. Once this mentality is integrated into your life, fear and anxiety will slowly start to diminish. And the more chances you take, the more likely you are to have what it is you need or want.
Knowing your Limitations
There is such a thing as a healthy delusion. This is a belief you have about yourself that is sometimes mystical or spiritual which boosts your confidence in endeavours.
For example, if you’re Roman Catholic, believing that God has chosen you to carry out a specific mission using gifts he gave you might empower you. In your work, in school or in relationships.
But then there are delusions that have no real spiritual backing and instead are backed with extreme grandiosity. That you can do anything exceedingly well.
No matter how much you believe in yourself, you’ll always have limitations.
For example, I believe that when I put my mind toward learning something, I can teach myself most things. But I also know that as much as I loved playing football (soccer) when I was younger, I was never good enough to be a professional.
Self-awareness is a clear sign you’re truly confident because you’re able to recognize both the areas you fall short and excel in. You can then work toward perfecting those gifted areas rather than dispersing your efforts in many directions.
You’re Able to Push Past Fears
As an extension to knowing your limitations, being truly confident also entails recognizing what it is you fear. And then pursuing a goal or endeavour despite that fear.
If you resist the urge to test your limits or comfort zone, you’re surrendering to your own mind. Because your mind dictates what you fear and why you fear it.
If this is you, actively try to challenge it whenever you have a chance.
Challenging your fears not only pushes you closer to a potential outcome you might want, but it also strengthens your character. You learn that you have more courage than you previously thought.