As a result of abdicating responsibility and making poor decisions with habits, I experienced a prolonged depressed state. I can recognize it was entirely my fault, but that mixture of hopelessness, shame and anger taught me lessons about health and discipline that I’ll never forget. Here are the practices that helped me tame depression:
Doing What Was Hard to Me
I was 21 with no job when I went through it. I isolated myself from family and friends every day, leaving me with nothing but my vices to bring any ounce of pleasure.
Although I got a lot of criticism and judgement from family, and rightly so, my situation was such that all my needs were met. So the reputation damage was less important than the fact that I could continue living the way I did.
When your testosterone levels are so low that you have no drive to do literally anything, the easy route seems like a much better option.
Every day I would search for videos, articles and reddit posts to motivate me and educate me on what a depressed mind entails. And then I stumbled across the simplest, yet most profound quote I’ve ever heard.
“If you do what is easy, then your life will be hard. But if you do what is hard, your life will be easy.”
That really made me think.
Then I applied the quote to my current lifestyle choices and began to grasp its meaning.
The latter half of that quote was what I mentally emphasized once the former half was understood. I had to figure out what was difficult to me, no matter how trivial it might sound to someone not in that state, in order to live a better life.
Personally that was reaching out to a friend, leaving my room more, slowly letting go of my bad habits, and pushing myself to find a job.
So that’s what I did. And though I had slip-ups along the way, I was able to keep my life more stable using this method.
Practiced NoFap
This practice really turned my life around in the past, so I knew it was definitely something worth trying again.
The truth is that one of my vices was pornography when I was depressed. Some people use drugs or alcohol, but lust was always my deadly sin in times of distress.
Every day my testosterone levels were dropping; I could hear it in my voice and feel myself losing control of my emotions on a daily basis.
My brain circuitry was also very damaged. The constant dopaminergic releases were not allowing me to find enjoyment in anything at all (which was making an already big problem that much worse).
See here for more information on the effects that porn has on your brain.
I knew after months of living like that, it was time to abstain from porn. I couldn’t take the shame anymore.
But because I was so used to watching it, I only made gradual progress at first. Still, even if you’re watching it less during the week, that’s still better than where you were at before.
Eventually I stopped watching it altogether for upwards of two months, and the difference in my health and life was like night and day. I landed myself a job, ate better, experienced less neurotic emotions, socialized more and got a girlfriend.
NoFap is a gamechanger when trying to tame depression.
Talked to People I Trust
When you’re depressed, the willingness to talk to others about it can sometimes be very hard. The shame, regret, anger, sadness or all of the above can make you close off entirely, even from the people you talk to regularly.
This was definitely the case for me, too.
But it’s important to realize that doing this also makes it that much harder to tame depression.
Isolation leads to fixation on wherever your mind takes you, and your mind takes you to the worst places when depressed.
Even if it’s uncomfortable for you, talk to those people in your life you trust.
Text your friend. Call your brother. Meet up with your dad.
I was able to make progress toward getting my life back together, in part, by venting to my Grandfather and Dad. The former heard me out and forced me to help with chores around his cottage, which offered sunlight exposure, exercise, and familiarity with a routine to prep me for reentering the workforce.
What should be emphasized here is the tough love he enforced. He knew I didn’t want to do anything, but that isn’t an acceptable excuse to use in the world, so out of love I was pushed to take some sort of action.
Those who truly care about you will guide you through action.
However I’m not naive in knowing that sometime it isn’t enough – expert advice and feedback can be a better solution to your problems.
So if you’re looking for a professional opinion to tame depression, try Online Therapy. They offer qualified therapists who will help you from start to finish, plus call, video call, text, live chat and email messaging options to fit your communication preferences.
You can get started here.