To echo my previous article on this topic, awareness of your mind’s ability to deceive you in order to preserve the ego, confirm biases or beliefs, or avoid difficulty can lead to a deeper understanding of yourself and others in life. Human nature is universal and has been a recurring force for hundreds of thousands of years, so there is and has always been a massive social benefit to knowing how to handle it. Here are more lessons about human nature that I learned:
It Can Be Very Easy to Be Deceived by People’s Masks
A notable point Robert Greene makes in his book The Laws of Human Nature is that people, including you, put on a mask that shows the best side of them in social settings. This means that we all intentionally put forth our most positive emotions through speech and body language so that we are not judged harshly; however sometimes that mask gets cracked in the company of certain people. Unfortunately, though, the signs of dislike or deception from others can be hard to spot if your personal biases come to the forefront of your mind.
Virtually no one wants to be betrayed or surprised in some other way, which is why seeing through people’s masks is one of the most important lessons about human nature I learned; it is a preventive measure. But as individuals, everyone has preferences for certain types of people over others, which can make it difficult to notice and interpret white lies or non-verbal micro expressions from those we like more. Furthermore, you can easily delude yourself into believing that people are generally on your side or are neutral in matters of personal conflict, because it is uncomfortable to realize that some people are simply not.
Unfortunately I have the tendency to believe the latter, and have suffered in ways such as job loss because of it. To avoid deception, betrayal or public shame, be sure to view people’s behaviour objectively, leaving biases out of it. As an unbiased observer, you can more effectively train your brain to notice behavioural patterns and then respond accordingly.
Kindness Can Help Your Reputation
Almost everyone has done something they are not proud of in the public eye or in the company of one other person that had the potential to taint their reputation, or had actually tainted it. The wise person would believe that forgiveness of this (depending on the severity of the mistake) comes naturally because humans are imperfect. However, what if a mistake is made that seriously alters the image of your character in some way?
This obviously does not include unforgivable acts that cross legal boundaries. Rather, for instance, a drinking habit you might have picked up while going through a bad time, which interferes with your ability to properly connect with those in your life. Assuming you are not harming others while in this state, a general alcoholic is perceived as an irresponsible, disorderly person. And if your name comes up in conversation between those who know you, chances are that this habit would be mentioned, which, by extension, would negatively alter your character in their eyes.
But humans can be incredibly simple thinkers, especially when factoring in the treatment received by the person in question when they are being discussed. If you are rude and disrespectful to people, plus an alcoholic, it becomes that much harder to redeem your reputation. If you are kind and generous to people, the alcoholism can damage your reputation but likely not beyond repair. Simply being a good person can go a long way toward receiving forgiveness for your inadequacies or mistakes because people value kindness and decency.
This speaks to the inherently emotional nature we all possess in that we place importance on being acknowledged, but acknowledged in a way that lacks disrespect or any other rude expression.
People Tend to Follow Your Lead if You Dismiss Petty Arguments
The human ego is so powerful that it can lead you down the most ridiculous paths if you let it. Depending on your upbringing (because that matters), your ego will be in either a healthy or unhealthy state. If it is in an unhealthy state and you are not actively aware that you are lacking control over your desires and truly believe you are superior to others, there is no telling how far you will go to satisfy your urges. If in a healthy state, you are in a better position than the former, but can still fall victim to the ego’s temptations.
Physical fights happen very frequently as a result of such temptations, but it is more common to experience verbal exchanges. Some might be warranted; for example, clapping back if someone insults you. However, you can very easily find yourself in an argument or disagreement over trivial topics just to prove your intelligence and understanding of the world.
In such cases, the best decision you can make is to dismiss the argument, adding the pointlessness of what was discussed. Doing so tends to signal to the other person that time is being wasted on both sides, so he or she can also benefit from stepping away. Furthermore, a mature approach such as this has an influencing effect on others, serving as a practical lesson that can be learned for future exchanges with others.
This can be considered one of the most common lessons about human nature, as nearly everyone finds themselves in pointless quarrels on a semi-regular basis. Whether at work, at home, or in a popular public space, many are attempting to make themselves look good.