Author: Michael O

As a teenage boy in the 21st century, it’s normalized to watch pornography. If used as a crutch from that point on, this addiction could spell the difference between poor and strong mental health and lead to damaged brain circuitry. Beware of the effects of pornography on your brain:

Unrealistic Expectations

Because all you’re doing when viewing pornography is watching women have sex, you’ll begin to associate every woman with those women. Creating the delusion that sex is all the average woman thinks about and wants. 

Objectifying women in this way drills the act of sex into your brain, and that will become all you think about when you’re around them. As a result you’ll be viewed as creepy or disrespectful and will have less success with simple bonding and further intimacy. 

At the root of it, the average guy doesn’t know that the women on these websites are emotionally damaged. The exciting energy you see is only an act for money, but they wouldn’t be there in the first place if they had a healthy upbringing.

A study done in Sweden with nine females found that their experiences in pornographic production was a result of poor mental health, financial insecurity, “young age” and early sexualized violence.

Damaged Dopamine Circuitry

Watching pornography addictively and getting off to it produces an extremely powerful dopaminergic response; so much so that it sets a threshold for dopamine release. 

Your natural levels will, as a result, drop below baseline. And that will make it harder to enjoy other experiences, whether mundane or thrilling. 

See here for a deeper dive into this topic from a previous post.

In other words, everyday experiences like tasting food or feeling the sun on your body will bore you. The same goes for more exciting experiences like riding a rollercoaster.

If no enjoyment is felt in life’s moments then you’re not living life as you should be. 

I remember as a teenager feeling like a zombie as a result of my pornography addiction. I had trouble focusing and could not enjoy things like learning and even interacting with people. 

If this is you and would like some professional advice on how to steer clear of pornography, you should consider Online Therapy. They have specialized programs, including addiction, to ensure your specific problem has a solution.

Because it’s an online service with call, video call, text, live chat and email messaging options, you can tailor your sessions to fit your communication preferences. You can sign up here.

Spectator Mentality

Watching others have sex is an abnormal activity in itself. We’re meant to partake in the act, not observe the act.

When it comes time to actually have sex with a woman, the possibility of experiencing erectile disfunction is high. You’re so used to getting aroused by others that it won’t bring the same level of excitement and familiarity.

A survey of 434 men found that a lowered sexual satisfaction and lower erectile function was associated with problematic Internet pornography use. 

A Caveat to Remember

The caveat here is not every man will respond with the above consequences when stimulated by pornography. And this may be you.

Your mindset is all-important in this regard. If you watch pornography with the belief that it will negatively impact you, you will likely be negatively impacted by it. 

On the contrary, watching it with the belief that it will do you no harm will likely have the opposite effect. 

Sources

• https://digitalcommons.uri.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1271&context=dignity
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qJHRvHU8IM
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5039517/#:~:text=This%20survey%20of%20434%20men,my%20partner%E2%80%9D%20%5B44%5D.

Your gut microbiome is made up of good bacteria and influences aspects of your overall health, like weight, mood and immune function. To operate at your best, you want to make sure it’s well-maintained. Here is how to achieve a healthy gut microbiome:

Ensure you Get Enough Plants in your Diet

No matter your stance on plants, there’s no debate that the nutrients in them boost your health in all sorts of ways. Salad greens like lettuce and spinach, for example, provide iron and calcium for bone health, helps protect against cataracts for eye health and may help fight heart disease.

They also create a healthy gut microbiome.

Plants like vegetables, fruits, nuts and spices increase the amount of healthy bacteria there. And the more variety of plants in your diet, the more of that bacteria you’ll have.

The more diversity of good bacteria, the better suited your gut microbiome is to assist in areas like your immune, digestive and nervous systems.

A study done in the U.K. called the British Gut Project revealed that participants who ate 30 or more different plants per week were more likely to have certain healthy bacteria than those who ate only 10.

Reduce Stress

Stress is known to have physical consequences, and this includes your gut microbiome.

When stress is high and not being properly regulated, bacteria can produce inflammation in your gut. That inflammation can then lead to a host of issues like inflammatory bowel disease, heartburn or diarrhea.

Interestingly, poor gut health as a result of consuming processed foods can also make you stressed. Neurotransmitters like serotonin are produced in your gut, so when it’s not being cared for, that natural production is disrupted. Leading to mental health issues like depression and anxiety.

Stress affects gut health and poor gut health produces stress. They’re interlinked.

To combat stress, you can meditate, exercise or listen to music. See here for more information on this topic from a previous post of mine.

Meditation in particular can strengthen your vagal tone, making the gut and brain more accessible to each other. This better equips you to handle stress, resulting in a healthy gut microbiome.

To explore meditation as a beginner meditator, Headspace is a good start. Members have access to a wide variety of guided sessions which are useful if you don’t know how to approach it.

And if you purchase an annual subscription but don’t enjoy the service, you can cancel within 30 days by contacting teamsupport@headspace.com.

Sign up here.

Eat Fiber-Rich Foods

When you eat fiber-rich foods, they are fermented in the gut microbiome, producing metabolites which help with bodily processes like energy conversion. They also contribute to the diversity of healthy bacteria.

A lack of fiber in your diet can contribute to metabolic disorders such as diabetes.

So it’s in your best interest to be getting enough of it. Some examples of fiber-rich foods include almonds, avocadoes, apples, raspberries, oats and lentils.

Sources

• Eating 30 Plants per Week: How To Do It and Why (zoe.com)
• Stress, depression, diet, and the gut microbiota: human–bacteria interactions at the core of psychoneuroimmunology and nutrition – PMC (nih.gov)
• Dietary Fiber Intake and Gut Microbiota in Human Health – PMC (nih.gov)
• Ursell, Amanda. Complete Guide to Healing Foods. New York, Dorling Kindersley Publishing, Inc., 2000.

Self-image is the most important aspect of mental health. Without a strong one, you’re prone to more depressed and anxious thinking, which will negatively impact your relationships and other life endeavours. Here are 5 things that create a low self-image:

Not Accepting your Past

Everyone’s life experience differs and that’s what makes us all unique.

Unfortunately, some people go through worse conditions during their upbringing. This mentally scars them and has the potential to hurt their chances of thriving in later life.

And experiences that directly affect a person also have the added consequence of creating a low self-image.

If this is you, know that it’s normal to want to avoid thinking about that time of life. Sometimes it can be so painful that you can’t function in the present moment.

But by not confronting and accepting your past, your current state will only get worse. It will unconsciously guide you toward more feelings of worthlessness, more fractured friendships and relationships, and more coping mechanisms.

Instead be brutally honest with what happened, experience the emotions that follow and learn to de-attach yourself from what you went through. Often we associate our identities with what happened to us, and this is exactly what will impact your self-image.

If you’re struggling with this and would like to seek help from a professional, try Calmerry. It’s an online therapy service that offers text and video therapy and free counsellor switching. And you can switch at any time. You can sign up here.

Bad Habits

As an extension to the above, your habits can either add fuel to the fire of your past or help you dissociate your identity from it.

They can also either give you a sense of self-pride or shame in your day to day.

For example, if a boy grows up with one parent that pays him no mind, he’ll naturally feel unloved and believe he’s not worth anyone’s time in later life. By not confronting and accepting his childhood, he’ll want to cope through deviant habits and behaviours like substance abuse.

If he becomes an alcoholic, not only will that make it harder to dissociate his identity with his experience (because alcohol is known to be a depressant), but it will unearth a current sense of shame. Deep down he knows being an alcoholic will not help him, so he now finds himself at the lowest level of consciousness.

You can change your self-image by changing your habits. Exercising; eating whole foods; waking up on time and getting enough sleep; getting enough sunlight; and consuming content or information in healthy ways are what will give you a sense of self-pride and accomplishment.

Comparison with Others

It’s natural for us to compare ourselves with others as this is a part of human nature. And with social media coming into play, that is happening more than ever before.

There’s an argument to be made that social media creates an unnatural sense of self-comparison because we’re now able to peer into anyone’s life at any moment.

But even that isn’t the major problem.

The problem is replacing admiration with envy or self-denigration. When that happens, which is often the case today, people start to devalue themselves and that ultimately creates a low self-image.

When it’s the other way around, you can start from a place of healthy competition. You see where you are or what you have, admire someone for having it better in whatever regard, and work to reach that person’s level or surpass it.

Not Loving Yourself

It’s also natural for us to notice things about ourselves and fixate on them more than others do. We know ourselves best.

Unfortunately that fixation usually leads to self-consciousness. If that becomes a habitual thinking pattern, you’ll find yourself operating from a low self-image.

Instead of letting it get to the point of anxiety, practice seeing your unique characteristics simply as what makes you unique. There doesn’t have to be a negative or positive association (although positive would be ideal).

When you really think about it, we all notice the characteristics of others and it isn’t always the case that we’re judging the other person for having them. It’s just what makes them an individual.

Over time you’ll find that reframing your mind to view yourself in this way will transform into self-love. It’s important to love others but it’s just as important to love yourself and treat yourself with the same level of respect.

Staying in your Comfort Zone

You trick yourself into believing that your comfort zone is a good place to be. If you feel safe and relaxed, you’ll want to continue feeling that way even at the expense of personal growth.

But that voice in the back of your head, reminding you that you’ll go nowhere by staying there, is correct. For the sake of your personal development, learn to leave your comfort zone gradually. See here for more information on this topic from a previous post of mine.

If you never push yourself towards the uncomfortable, you’ll start to realize that you’re becoming weaker rather than stronger. That you have the capacity to improve yourself in many regards, but choose not to out of fear of the unknown.

Sources

• https://www.camh.ca/en/health-info/mental-illness-and-addiction-index/alcohol#:~:text=%E2%80%8BAlcohol%20is%20a%20depressant,behaviour%2C%20breathing%20and%20heart%20rate
• https://mindfulled.com/levels-of-consciousness/

When it comes to life, you’ll find that there are things you tend to gloss over or deny because they’re too difficult to accept. Since the path of least resistance is a common human trait, this is normal. But that doesn’t make it excusable as you’ll eventually have to confront the truth either willingly or unwillingly. Here are 5 harsh realities of life in the 21st century that need to be accepted:

Not Everyone is Going to Like You

As a people pleaser for most of my life, this one took some time to settle in. If you’re anything like me, it will also take some time because you’re so fixated on either hoping others can see all of the good qualities you see in yourself, or ensuring there’s no friction or bad blood between you and the people in your life. Or, it’s a mix of both.

This is simply a counterproductive strategy.

As you progress through life, you’ll meet all types of people in all types of settings. For one reason or another, one of the harsh realties today is that some people you run into will just not like you.

And it’s not your duty to find out why.

If you know in your heart that you have genuinely good intentions toward others, then that is all that’s needed to remember when wondering what the reason could be for a person’s views toward you. Doing right in the world can help you stay grounded.

If You do What is Hard, Your Life Will be Easy

Nobody wants to take action on endeavors that are a struggle to endure, but produce an ideal personal outcome. Because struggle is not comfortable, and again, the path of least resistance is the default mindset for people.

Think of the voice in the back of your head, your higher consciousness. Notice when you choose to take the easy path, that voice is reminding you of how much you’ll regret that decision later on. That you won’t be any closer to the better version of yourself you know you want to become.

Also notice it emphasizes what you should be doing instead, and that’s almost always what you try to avoid.

When the path of least resistance is ignored and you go against the grain, you’ll reap the rewards of your labour. Aside from just savoring those rewards, you can spot trends in how much easier everything else becomes.

For example, you want a muscular physique but realize committing yourself to the gym won’t be easy. You do it anyways and achieve the physique you visualized.

Then, disciplining yourself to focus on work or a side project becomes easier as you disciplined yourself at the gym. Women tend to show more interest in you since they realize it takes commitment and grit to achieve a body like yours.

Another one of the harsh realities of life is that God rewards those who work hard. If you’re not religious, then the universe rewards you if you work hard.

Loyalty is Rare Between Men and Women

Social media has turned the world upside down in many ways. From frying your dopamine system through constant content scrolling to fracturing your self-image by comparing your life with the lives of others on screens.

What’s become more and more noticeable is the access to attention and validation both women and men can receive. There are so many options available through the explore section on Instagram and dating apps like Tinder that it’s hard to overlook the difficulty it creates with intimacy.

Cheating and self-pleasure in relationships happens so often that it’s almost become normalized – one of the more daunting of the harsh realities today. There are still couples out there who stay true to each other, but it’s a rarity.

Women in particular have never had as much access to partners than right now. There’s something to be said about a man’s concern with this because if his girlfriend perceives his actions or inactions as dissatisfactory, no matter how trivial, she can easily look elsewhere. Which begs the question: what’s the point in dating?

This is not to say men don’t do the same thing, because they do, but it’s generally harder for a man to have sex or set up dates with other women. The ones who have an easy time with it are set apart through status, looks, resources, or all of the above. And it’s difficult to bring yourself to that level.

The overarching theme is that social media content accelerates the difficulty men and women face with each other.

You Have No Reason to Not be Learning

Despite the problems social media and the internet at large has introduced, there’s still so much utility to be taken from it.

We’ve never had more access to information than today. On virtually any topic you can think of.

As of 2022, 66% of the global population uses the internet. 5.3 billion people.

With that comes the matter of personal development or generally learning about things of interest to you.

You can learn skills, educate yourself about aspects of the world, find mentors to guide you, start a business, and the list goes on. It’s actually crazy to realize the potential for personal growth you have at your fingertips.

So if you’re wasting your days with instant gratification, you need to wake up. Really understand what you’re doing versus what you could be doing. Ignorance or a lack of motivation are not excuses anymore, and that’s one of the harsh realities today.

Skills Matter More than Post-Secondary Education

We’re not living in the 20th century anymore. Even though some employers and companies still value it, post-secondary school education just isn’t as important as it used to be.

I think there’s been a realization across the board that one of the harsh realities in the 21st century is: being able to memorize information and then repeat it onto a test or exam doesn’t help you in the real world. A case can be made for applying what you learn, especially if it’s relevant to your work (like a doctor, for instance), but in the fields that aren’t directly linked to schooling, how much of that information can really be applied?

There’s been more of an emphasis on acquiring hard and soft skills as a gateway to a job or generally making income. And this is because proficiency at skills that are relevant to your source of income make you more competent at what you’re doing.

You can check out my post on self-education that covers the importance of learning skills here.

For example, if a corporate company is hiring and one of the requirements as an applicant is to be proficient at Microsoft Excel (a hard skill), are they going to hire the person who is or isn’t?

Soft skills are always in demand, too. I landed a corporate job because I had prior sales experience with the ability to build relationships and engage in productive conversation. This was proven by my track record of hitting and exceeding quotas.

And I don’t have a degree.

Sources

• https://www.statista.com/statistics/273018/number-of-internet-users-worldwide/

NoFap is a difficult practice, but one that reaps rewards inwardly and outwardly. Among them, female attraction has been spoken of anecdotally on YouTube and the internet at large. Though these are personal accounts, this doesn’t make them any less of a reliable source; if enough people can support the same claim, there must be some truth to it. Here are the biological and neurological changes from this practice that can account for the link between NoFap and female attraction:

Testosterone Levels After Just 7 Days

The main difference between men and women, as we know are our genitals and sex hormones. Testosterone and estrogen account for the differentiation between feminine and masculine characteristics and behavior.

And naturally, men are attracted to feminine qualities just as women are attracted to masculine ones.

On that note, we are more drawn to the clear signs of the opposite hormone.

Women, on average, will be more attracted to the man who is in good physical shape, has a deeper voice, is confident, takes risks and is able to regulate his emotions than the man who does not share these characteristics. High testosterone is what allows for such characteristics to be present, and NoFap enhances them.

One study used 28 healthy men who volunteered to abstain from masturbation for 7 days. The research concluded that testosterone levels increased by 10% after the one-week mark.

Though this might seem like a small number, it only grows as the practice continues. So the longer you abstain, the higher your testosterone levels will reach.

For best results, you can pair this practice with a supplement I personally take called ashwagandha. It is naturally found as a shrub in Asia and Africa, and is known for its stress-reducing benefits: a key prerequisite for increasing your testosterone.

I can attest that it has reduced feelings of depression and anxiety for me, and has helped enhance masculine qualities like voice depth and muscle tone. Try it now here.

Discipline and Focus

When your sexual energy is built up for long periods of time, it needs to be channeled. In other words, it needs to be transmuted or else this practice is pointless. See more information on this here from one of my articles.

The benefits you feel from this practice when transmuting the energy are very apparent.

Whether it be showing up to the gym more often and pushing or pulling heavier weight, or dedicating yourself to your craft and sensing an improved quality in the output, you are honing your discipline and focus into a part of your life.

That part is subjective to what it is you care about. Not to mention the abundance of energy which allows all this to take place.

As for the subject of NoFap and female attraction: they can sense your masculine drive. And since it has already been established that they are attracted to masculine qualities, discipline and focus are among the most important of them in terms of mentality.

You’ll notice they will be more drawn to you as you remain busy; a man with priorities is a man that women want.

Social Interactions

You’ll be surprised at how powerful you become in social interactions while on NoFap.

Even for the men that are more introverted and keep to themselves, the surge in testosterone as well as the rewiring of your dopamine system will keep you from experiencing social anxiety or depressed thinking as often.

As a result, both introverted and extroverted men alike will create an aura in which you might experience ease of conversation, more passionate interactions, charisma, the ability to be more witty and funny, the ability to use social cues to your advantage, and so on.

All of this to say that women around you will see this and be more drawn to you. You would have to try this practice for yourself to truly know what I mean; it’s almost as if you know what to do and say in any situation; this, being one of the standout links between NoFap and female attraction.

Typically they will choose a man who has this aura over the man who doesn’t, however there are always exceptions.

Sources

• Does Not Masturbating Increase Testosterone? – Üroloji Uzmanı (omurerdemakkaya.com)

It’s interesting that despite the access to information and physical resources today, there are still men who struggle in the health and physique departments. I’d argue that technology is ironically the main distractor, but you can work around that. Here are 5 tips for building muscle as a man:

Extend Your Muscle-Building Research Beyond YouTube

YouTube is a curse and a blessing because you can learn so much, yet also be easily misinformed.

For example, YouTube bodybuilders must maintain their size and calorie intake in order to keep their audiences. This means they’ll ingest their macros in whatever form to achieve that goal, whether the foods are processed or not.

The problem is that processed foods are lacking for both your mind and body, so even though the protein intake might be there, the other nutrients largely won’t be. Like water, magnesium and vitamin D, to name a few.

These other nutrients are just as important in building muscle as a man, so the message that some YouTubers are promoting is ultimately a disservice to you.

Do yourself a favor and find scientific studies through Google scholar or books to support any health claim. Using the diet example above, first find information on which nutrients are needed to build muscle (4 are listed already). Then, use the resources mentioned to verify if what you found out is true or not. 

Just to clarify, YouTube is a great tool for a lot of subjects. But it shouldn’t be seen as the point of reference for any topic or claim because it’s a business platform at the end of the day; therefore, the motives of some people can easily be skewed. Or someone just might not know what they’re talking about.

Always Aim to Push Past Limits

A very simple and important concept that is still overlooked by some people.

I sometimes see guys come to the gym and do their reps with little to no effort. That usually means they’re complacent with the weight they’re pushing or pulling and won’t try harder for that reason. Leading to the delusion that minimal effort is still enough effort to see results.

The reality is that, even outside of building muscle as a man, no positive change will be made in any area of life from remaining in your comfort zone. That’s just a fact. So the mindset you should walk into the gym with is: I’m going to challenge myself and do what is uncomfortable.

If that means trying a heavier weight than your last session, do it. If that means trying an exercise you’ve been putting off, do it.

If this thought process compounds your results every day, even at a 1% improvement rate, you will definitely build muscle over the coming months.

Engage in Other Healthy Habits that Elevate Testosterone Levels

Your testosterone levels determine your ability to build muscle.

A study from Science Direct using seven healthy young men and six elderly men concluded that this is indeed the case. Although there was speculation as to whether other hormones played a role in the process as well.

Aside from this particular study, it’s widely established at this point that the higher your T levels are, the more your muscle protein synthesis is stimulated.

Your habits will directly impact this for you. So it would be in your best interest to get these in order.

For example, your dietary patterns are arguably the most important in this regard. Eat foods with high vitamin D and zinc content on a consistent basis, like red meats or chicken, as high dosages are directly linked to testosterone.

For more of an in-depth breakdown on increasing testosterone naturally, check out my previous post here.

Ensure You’re Getting the Right Amount of Protein

As mentioned above, I’m a big believer that you should get your protein intake mostly from whole foods. However, a protein powder or protein bars can be the exception to the rule as you want to ensure you’re getting the right amount per day for building muscle as a man. Go for the higher quality types as they tend to be less processed (like grass fed beef isolate protein powder).

So if you’re not getting enough from foods, these supplements can get you on track.

To determine how much protein you need per day, first find out how much you weigh in kilograms. For best results, you’ll need 0.8 grams per kilogram of bodyweight.

My advice is to get as much of a nutrient dense, protein filled meal as you can. 3 meals a day is fine but not needed if you’re ingesting enough macros.

You can easily pack 40 grams of protein alone in one meal. For example, my typical brunch is a wrap consisting of 4 large eggs (6 grams each, 24 in total); 3 pieces of pork or turkey bacon (5 grams each, 15 in total); onions and tomatoes. I also add in two pieces of whole grain toast with peanut butter (3-5 grams). For me, that’s two thirds of my daily protein intake down.

Be Consistent

It really boils down to consistency at the gym when trying to build muscle. All of the other points mentioned are necessary, but the majority of them don’t matter if you’re not putting the time in.

One of my favourite quotes about discipline is from a YouTuber named Hamza: “Do the hard work, especially when you don’t feel like it.” And that sums it up. Your discipline levels need to be strong in this regard; you know you’re on the right path if you’re tired, had a bad day, or just don’t feel like going, but you go anyways.

You can check out Hamza’s YouTube channel here if you’re not familiar with him.

Make a commitment to go to the gym between 4-5 days a week. And stick to it. Simple as that.

When you’re looking at the progress you’ve made over the coming months, you will have been so glad that you followed through with this. Your body structure will speak for itself. 

Sources

• Wolfe, Robert; Ferrando, Arny; Sheffield-Moore, Melinda; Urban, Randall. Testosterone and Muscle Protein Metabolism. ScienceDirect. 2000 January; 75(1): S55-S60. DOI: https://doi.org/10.1016/S0025-6196(19)30644-5.

Personal finance is one of those things that if you understand early, can benefit your life for years to come. Getting it right in practice requires you to first integrate two major philosophies. Here is the balanced mentality needed in personal finance:

Discipline Through Saving and Investing

Setting up and allocating steady income to a savings account is crucial for your personal security. To some who are more frugal in nature, this is a given. No questions asked.

But for those who are a little more reckless with their spending habits, it might be a hard lifestyle adjustment to make.

If this is you, especially if you’re young, you need to imagine one day being on your own and tackling the responsibilities in adulthood. If you’re out of a job with no other means of income, how are you going to survive for the next six months to a year?

These are the questions you need to ask yourself.

To plan ahead is to save yourself from the stress that might present itself in life. Part of that plan requires having the discipline to set up a budget at the very least.

The 50/30/20 rule is a simple but effective example – see here for more information on how it works. At least you can rest assured that you’re doing what you can to set yourself up for not only safety in the event of financial hardship, but also access to enough money for big life purchases (like a downpayment on a house) or trips.

On the other hand, understanding the importance of investing your money is equally important. Rather than allocating all of your remaining income to a savings account that is just sitting there, you can also put your money toward assets or ETF’s that will make you more.

This will ensure that you’re expanding your potential income in the short term while also securing more income for the long term. In the case of an index fund, for example, your money will grow through compound interest over the course of years.

See here for more of an in-depth breakdown on a previous post of mine.

It’s a game of patience, no doubt, but at least you’ll have more than you otherwise would in later life.

To get started with index fund investing, I recommend Wealthsimple. It’s an app that makes it very easy to understand when your money is projected to grow through visual graphs, and offers options to automate weekly, biweekly or monthly withdrawals at whichever amount is suitable to you.

If you’re a Canadian citizen, click here to sign up at no cost.

Letting Go and Spending On What You Enjoy

Personally, I am more of a frugal person. I like to save and invest most of my money and, in in the past, avoided spending on things I didn’t believe I needed.

But now I give myself more of a break and even though I still don’t spend over my budget, I use my spending money on things I want.

This is because money is supposed to be spent, so the more you focus on saving all of it, the more you’re deviating from its purpose. And that doesn’t make sense in the grand scheme of things.

The takeaway here is to not overthink it if you have funds to spend. If you want something, remember that life is short and sometimes it’s okay to treat yourself. When you look back as you’re older, you will have been content that yes, you used approached personal finance with a balanced mentality, but also that you got to enjoy or experience what it is you like (that can be bought).

The Value in Both

Training yourself to have some financial restraint is unquestionably a smart move. That discipline creates personal security for the future while also helping you understand the value of discipline in itself.

If the way you do one thing is the way you do everything, then it only stands to make sense that you’ll also be disciplined in other areas of life.

Whether it’s with work, diet, fitness or other good habits, your life has serious potential to improve. I would say this is even more the case if you have bad spending habits but work to change that.

If you’re naturally frugal, however, then saving your money doesn’t require a lot of discipline.

On the other hand, spending your money when you want to treat yourself teaches you to not completely deprive yourself of your wants. As a result you can experience periods of joy and reward more often and that reminds you of your right to do so.

As with anything, a balanced mentality is important.

There are a number of habits you can implement that can help optimize your mental, physical and emotional health. Combining them can optimize them even further. But it all starts as soon as you wake up; here’s the simple habit that can improve your whole day:

Wake Up as Soon as Your Alarm Goes Off

I prefaced this post with the word “simple” in the title for a reason. This is as simple as you can get. And yet it can have a huge impact on the trajectory of your day.

Try to view a large part of daily success by doing what’s difficult. The more uncomfortable tasks you take on and complete, the more mentally prepped you are for whatever complexity in your life awaits you.

The first place you can start is getting out of your bed in the morning. It’s literally the earliest challenge you can take on, so it will set the pace right away. No one wants to escape that feeling of comfort, but once you do you can be reminded of your unwillingness to take the first easy route of the day and sleep in.

Impact on Mental Resilience

As mentioned above, forgoing the act of sleeping in is the first daily challenge you can complete.

As a result your mindset will be operating from a position of strength. You’ll want to attack the day as productively as possible.

You might also find that this habit will naturally boost confidence, almost without you realizing. As for men, this could be a result of higher testosterone levels. I wasn’t able to find studies on direct links between the two but some studies do cite general bad sleeping patterns with low testosterone so, assuming you’re getting the right duration and quality of sleep (alongside not hitting snooze), healthy sleeping patterns likely have the opposite effect.

Impact on Cognitive Functioning 

Sleep inertia has been proven through studies to negatively impact your cognitive functioning (see here for more information on this from a previous post of mine). This includes memory and processing time among other things. See my post on sleep inertia here.

In fact, it can have serious consequences in the real world. One military analysis cited more than 400 Air Force accidents happening during the first hour of waking. This suggests a potential link to sleep inertia. See here for more information on the study.

It’s safe to assume that we all want to perform our best, mentally speaking, at work or in school every day. The one healthy habit that can improve focus, reaction time and accuracy in cognitive tasks is ignoring the snooze button and waking up when you hear your first alarm. This was discovered through my own personal experience, although I’m sure many others can agree.

Impact on Emotional Regulation

Poor sleep quality and duration often triggers your emotions to go out of whack, easily leading to irritation throughout the day. Andrew Huberman from the Huberman Lab Podcast pointed out that people who are suicidal generally have bad sleeping patterns, and sleep inertia can add to the problem.

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What I’ve also found is that ignoring the snooze button is the one simple habit that can improve my emotional regulation – with the help of other habits as well. I have less feelings of sadness and am less likely to get angry at trivial or serious matters. More of an emphasis is put on rationally dealing with the moments throughout my day, which helps when I have the temptation to react to things emotionally.

I believe this added benefit stems from the improvement in cognitive functioning and impacts your mental resiliency.

What Else?

Everyone’s wake up time differs. Some have the luxury of getting to wake up after 10:00 every day and some don’t. However we do get to choose how early we want to get up through trial and error.

Some people can get everything they need done with no problem from waking up later and some can’t. Regardless of where you fall under, though, just ensure that you’re getting up at the same time daily, or close to it.

You’re setting your mind, brain and body up for success by staying disciplined with the one healthy habit mentioned, and pairing that with a set routine every day.

Sources

• Hilditch, Cassie J; McHill, Andrew W. Sleep inertia: current insights. National Library of Medicine. 2019 Aug 22; 11: 155–165. DOI: 10.2147/NSS.S188911.

The polarity between men and women creates differences in what is valued on each side. A woman’s life can be optimized based on two main components: her level of femininity and outward appearance, and a man’s based on his masculinity and level of respect from peers (among other things). As for men, respect in particular serves as a foundation for a healthy self-image and is vital to success of any kind in life, whether with women, family, friends or business collaborations. Here is how to be respected as a man:

Clearly Understand the Benefits of Respect

It should be straightforward to men at this point that respect will improve your life. Personal experience should teach you this when you’re at your worst. If you either willfully ignored the signs or simply didn’t catch onto them, it’s important to understand why respect is so beneficial.

Respect to men is like validation to women. It’s like a currency or necessity.

You might have noticed that when you’re not in shape, not taking responsibility in life, not trying to make something of yourself or living antisocially, men and women treat you differently. Differently meaning worse.

If you speak, they won’t listen. If you listen, they won’t care. People who know you will walk all over you like you’re not there and try to take advantage. All because you have not taken your life seriously enough to garner their respect.

On the flip side, if you’ve gotten to the point when you’re respected as a man or are at least attempting to do so, it will have the opposite effect. Men and women will want to be around you and want to listen to you. Your self-image and life, by extension, will change dramatically.  For the better.

Stand Up for Yourself

Some men are naturally assertive and disagreeable, so they won’t have a problem with standing up for themselves.

However others might find it harder to do so, and it’s exactly these types of men who get run over in life. The more you let it happen, the more it will continue to happen. Those who see your reactions can recognize that there’s no problem with disrespecting you since you yourself don’t have a problem with it.

Standing up for yourself is an act that goes hand-in-hand with self-respect. And self-respect is what enables others to respect you because no one will respect you if you don’t respect yourself.

If you’ve been talked down to, belittled, or made to feel inferior, it’s your right to set the other person straight or even clap back. This goes for any environment, professional or otherwise.

It will having a lasting impact on your reputation in the long-term. It also signifies that you value your life as much as anyone else’s, and people will always respond positively to that energy.

Walk Away from Anything or Anyone Not Serving You

If you choose to stay in a toxic or one-sided relationship, a woman will believe you have no balls. The same goes for managers who overexert their power at work in a demeaning way or friends that flop on plans all the time.

When you operate using a scarcity mindset, as if you have no other options, you’ll never be taken seriously. The other party has all the power and they’ll use it against you.

One of the most powerful ways to be respected as a man is to walk away from situations or people that are not adding value to your life. If someone or something has not proven to have benefited some aspect of it, you have no reason to stay.

Of course, it’s important to also reflect on your own actions or inactions to determine whether or not you’re the reason the other party is acting this way. Accountability is always important. But in the event that you’re honestly not the problem, you need to walk – especially when you’re uncertain about where to go.

Having the confidence to leave usually stems from the knowledge that you have someone or something else to fall back on. It takes a whole different level of courage to do so when you don’t have any other options; as a result it will strengthen character. In any case, you’ll be respected more and remembered as a dignified man.

Build Muscle

Muscles, particularly in the upper body region, are a classic masculine trait. They add a level of dominance to your presence and prove useful in activities like manual labor.

From the perspective of others, muscles are also a sign of your self-respect and discipline. For those that are in this category, it’s why you typically see people listening to you more and generally giving you more attention. Others respond well when you’re displaying the fruits of hard work.

Women put an emphasis on stature and perceived self-respect when determining your attractiveness. One, if muscles are a sign of self-respect and people respond well to those signs, there’s the first appeal. Two, the pull toward masculine characteristics is intrinsic for women anyways, so there will automatically be an attraction to muscle mass. A study done by the National Library of Medicine found that cues for physical strength (upper body muscle definition) determined over 70% of a man’s bodily attractiveness.

In this case being respected as a man in the stature department can also play into how attractive you’re deemed.

If you’re serious about working out and are looking for a high quality protein powder, I recommend the beef protein isolate line from ATP Lab. Beef isolate protein is an alternative to whey and creatine, so if you’ve had bad experiences with them or just want to experiment with something different, this might be the perfect option. I’m currently taking the dark chocolate flavor which tastes amazing, but they also have vanilla if that’s your preference. You can get it here.

Be Responsible

As men age they typically have to take on more responsibility. With career path, purpose, family, personal finance and so on. This means that you have to let go of your younger, more immature self and change your identity into that of an adult.

When you willingly embrace this concept and follow through with action, people take notice of it. They might notice you spending your money less on trivial things. They might notice you opting out of nights out to the club to work on a project. Once family, friends or coworkers get the sense that you’re devoting time and resources to more meaningful endeavors, it signals that you’re acting more responsibly in your life.

Since this is a mature approach, respect will come as a result. Maturity stems from acquired wisdom in life and the belief that it’s not to be taken as a joke. Naturally, men and women alike will come to respect that since they can attest, through their own eventual life experiences, life requires that outlook for success of any kind.

On the other hand, men who neglect responsibility to constantly pursue short-term gratification are not respected. If the opposite approach suggests life is to be taken seriously, then this approach implies a man is immature and naïve. Women generally won’t respond well to that type of man and find it hard to respect him just as friends, family or coworkers will.

Sources

• Sell, Aaron; Lukazsweski, Aaron W.; Townsley, Michael. Cues of upper body strength account for most of the variance in men’s bodily attractiveness. National Library of Medicine. 2017 Dec 20; 284(1869): 20171819. DOI: 10.1098/rspb.2017.1819.

As you get older, you begin to cultivate interests and spend your time on activities associated with those interests. But it’s important for you to be able to take a step back and analyze what is needed for an optimal life outside of your hobbies, purpose, passions or leisure activities. Here are 5 negative consequences  of an unbalanced life:

Exhaustion and Burnout

This is for those who are more temperamentally conscientious, compelled to stay busy and work for crazy long hours. Whether it’s for a career-based job or purpose-based work, it’s imperative that you find the time to also focus on the basic health pinnacles of eating nutritious foods, exercising, getting enough sleep, meditating (or some other related mental exercise) and exposure to nature and sunlight.

Otherwise, without those breaks, you’re prone to burnout.

Burnout is considered a mixture of mental, emotional and physical exhaustion, and could lead to serious health problems.

Brandon Gaille, host of the Blogging Millionaire podcast, admitted that because he was so fixated on his SEO and email marketing companies and neglected his sleep, he ended up in the hospital with heart issues. His burnout affected his ability to engage in everyday activities like driving, and so his life had to be temporarily put on hold.

You don’t want to end up in a situation like that. Be aware enough to step back and analyze whether you’re leading an unbalanced life and if so, make changes accordingly. Health is wealth.

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Poor Brain Health

If you spend much of your leisure time scrolling through social media, your attention span will decrease. If you work 11-12 hour days with few breaks, you’ll eventually go through burnout – as described above. If you consistently consume alcohol and drugs, you’ll damage your dopamine system.

In all of these scenarios, your brain health takes a hit when too much time is spent in one area.

If you then factor in the neglecting of vital life components like health, social connection, or purpose (depending on what it is you allocate majority of your time to), you’re also risking depletion of neurochemicals or cognitive markers that aren’t already depleting from the chosen activity. It’s a serious consequence of an unbalanced life, but definitely preventable.

Using one of the examples above: if you’re putting in 11-12 hour days at your job with very few periods of rest, you’ll suffer from burnout, and this – among other things – will affect your speed and accuracy when performing cognitive tasks. If you’re also getting very little morning sunlight exposure, healthy levels of cortisol will drop, too.

Wasted Time and Opportunities

The distinction between devoting majority of your time to something beneficial, like a business, or to activities that give fleeting pleasure (like scrolling through social media) should be noted. Obviously the former is more likely to add value, but as with anything, there are tradeoffs with any type of unbalanced life.

In reality, you’re only young once. The more responsibilities you take on as you age, the less opportunity you have to do things like travel, catch up with friends, or work on your body.

The concept of time should always be taken into consideration when you’re still at the pinnacle of your youth.

Some experiences and activities could prove to be formative, especially when considering that your brain isn’t fully developed until about 25. But you’ll miss out on that potential development if you don’t make the time.

Reflecting on this as you get older can lead to regret. That regret can lead to poor emotional regulation because you’ve realized your younger years are gone.

If you had only branched out your time to also focus on health, social connections, experiences abroad and other critical components of life, you would have decreased the chances of that happening as a result.