Author: Michael O

It’s important in this day and age to understand why investing is a smart financial decision for the longterm. This is especially true for index funds. Simply put, they are a culmination of earnings of all the top-performing companies in corporate America (if you set your portfolio to more equity-based) – which you have a small piece of. Here’s why you should consider index funds investing:

Consistent Annual Returns

It has been proven over the span of decades that index funds investing consistently generate a 10% average annual return rate. ETF (exchange traded fund) distributors like Vanguard have historically backed this claim for future earnings. This means you can rest assured that the deposits you make every month will always amount to a firm profit by the end of the year.

Keep in mind that the more you deposit, the more of an annual return you’ll make. If you were to make an initial lump sum deposit of $2,000 and make monthly contributions of $300, after 12 months (on a 10% annual return rate) you will have made at least $379 from that annual amount of $3600. Making a larger deposit and larger monthly contributions than this will obviously yield more of a return.

Compound Interest Grows Your Money

With index funds, you need to be a patient person to be able to see satisfactory returns. It works best over the longterm as a result of compound interest. In contrast to simple interest, compound interest accumulates by adding the principal interest rate plus any interested accrued. It’s basically interest added to your interest. So as years pass on, the amount earned will exponentially get bigger with this system. In the example above, by year two you would have made $1,175 dollars after factoring in compound interest. And think of how this differs from a savings account. Typically savings accounts have a smaller 2-3% interest rate on deposits, so the alternative will produce more of a return in the long-term.

I’ve been using Wealthsimple Invest for my index funds investing as they make it easy for Canadians to understand this concept. There is no initial minimum deposit requirement (you can start with $0 to open an account) and you can even set automatic deposits at weekly, monthly, or annual frequencies. So no need to remind yourself to make that monthly deposit – it can already be taken care of for you. See here to sign up.

Teaches Financial Discipline

In a consumerist society it’s very easy to fall victim to bad spending habits. Especially when you’re young. But if you start index funds investing in your late teens to early twenties with the goal of gaining long-term wealth, you are teaching yourself to forgo short-term gratification. This quality is essential for all areas of life, and will serve you well as you’re developing personal finance habits. I do believe that making multiple streams of income is beneficial in the short and long term, but what is equally important is ensuring a secure future for both yourself and potential kids and grandkids. 

Peace of Mind

As mentioned, multiple streams of income is helpful and actually necessary in today’s world. However, this process takes time and dedication, so along the way you may only be operating on a salary to pay bills. And panic could set in if you were to unexpectedly lose that job, reverting you to your savings account to get by until you get back on track. But what if your savings account only stretches you so far and you haven’t found a job or another way to generate income? Luckily, your index portfolio can assist you in this situation. I am not, by any means, encouraging you to withdraw your money early as this will take you further from your long-term goal. But in a do or die situation, you can rest assured that these funds can keep you afloat – even if it’s for a few months. 

Often it’s harder to to prepare for and adapt to the coming day if your energy levels are low. Fortunately, there are natural methods to ensure you have an abundance of it when the morning hits. Here are four natural ways to increase energy:

• Go for a Morning Jog: Before going about your usual morning routine, consider outdoor jogging first thing. Doing so not only has a variety of mental and physical benefits, but also teaches you to stabilize your discipline; the honest truth is that no one wants to move their body when they first wake up, which means you’re able to separate yourself from the rest by doing what is difficult. More to the point, you’re essentially killing two birds with one stone during this process. One, you’re exposing yourself to natural sunlight which has a profound effect on your energy levels for the remainder of the day. Two, the increased blood flow to the brain and heart shocks your body into immediately waking up, which serves you well when organizing your morning routine and getting work done. You’ll find that you’re able to feel so energized and focused that caffeine won’t be as needed, which will assist you in becoming less reliant on substance as one of the ways to increase energy.

• Get Quality Sleep:  As mentioned in previous posts, quality sleep is foundational for just about everything. Including your energy levels. See here for tips on how to get better sleep. It should be obvious at this point that when you lack sufficient sleep quality, you’re subject to noticeable deficiencies throughout your day. The two main types of sleep, REM (rapid eye movement) and NREM (non-rapid eye movement) each offer their own unique benefits to counteract such deficiencies. Non-rem is what is critical for physical recovery, in areas like illnesses, stress and the immune system. REM – which is responsible for most of your dreaming – affects your cognitive and emotional functioning, ranging from mood to memory. However, according to a Harvard article, both types play a role as one of the fundamental ways to increase energy. See here for more information on this. Therefore, ensuring you have a proper approach to getting a good sleep (irrespective of which type) will allow you to feel recovered and energized for the day ahead. 

• Expose Yourself to Cold Water: Exposure to cold water is another one of the natural ways to increase energy. Keep in mind that if you choose to start your shower with warm or hot water (rather than jumping right into the cold), turn the nozzle cold at least for the last minute before you get out. In either case, after getting out you’ll feel a nice sweet spot between calmness and alertness or energy. Unlike with caffeinated substances like coffee that many people feel, there is no anxiety-inducing sensation. Another alternative to coffee that you might not have considered. 

• Eat Whole, Natural Foods: When you’re choosing what to make for breakfast, always go for the healthy, whole-foods option. It will go a long way toward your energy levels in the morning and afterwards. Note that whenever you eat processed foods, you feel more lethargic and experience more brain fog. See here for more of an in-depth breakdown of this. Conversely, whole-foods like eggs, fruits, nuts, whole-grain breads and meats offer more support for your cognitive functioning and also fuels your body for physical movement. And this is important regardless of what it is you do during your day. For the guy that works from a computer and is stationary for most of the day, energy allocated to his brain (for cognitive functioning) will help him focus on tasks and offer quicker, better solutions. For the guy working in the trades, increased energy in his body will allow him to conquer all the physical demands his job requires, and not burn out as quickly. 

It’s very easy for us to fall victim to what is comfortable. What your mind convinces you to be the safe route is really what is holding you back from expanding your potential; here is how to leave your comfort zone:

• Recognize How Comfort Affects You: Deep down, no matter what you tell yourself to justify your behaviour, you know that your comfort zone is holding you back. It might seem like there is no alternative to living within this sphere, but that’s only because you have convinced yourself of something untrue. The first step in understanding how to leave your comfort zone is to be honest with yourself, recognizing that comfort is affecting your drive toward better things and experiences. You must realize that experiencing discomfort consistently will not only toughen you, but broaden your perspective on what you thought was possible. It will allow you to grow in ways that might shock you, and eventually – once experiencing difficulty has been made a habit – you’ll see improvements in health, mindset, social settings, habits, personal finance, and the list goes on. You have to be willing to sacrifice fleeting pleasure often and instead, face what is difficult.

• Take Note of Everything That Makes Up Your Comfort Zone: Once you’ve understood how the feeling of comfort is affecting your life, the next step is to become conscious of absolutely everything that is a part of that comfort zone. From the environment to your behaviour within the environment. For example, let’s say you want to start going to the gym, but at the end of every day – once you’re done with your responsibilities – you see your TV in the living room and decide to binge a Netflix show. This gives you pleasure, and to top it off, that bag of chips you bought on sale at the grocery store would be great to have while watching your show. But even though this feels good to you, in the back of your mind you’re reminded that you’re neglecting the gym. So really, it doesn’t feel good in the grand scheme of things. In this case, the living room that has the TV and couch says “safety” and “comfortable”, and once you’ve fallen victim to that temptation, you figure you might as well indulge in junk food to multiply that feeling. That specific environment facilities the behaviour, among other factors like emotional state. These triggers should become a warning sign for you as they can either work for you or against you in the process of how to leave your comfort zone. 

• Start Small: There are two approaches you can take when starting to detach from your comfort zone: gradually or cold-turkey. Even though the cold-turkey method allows you to rid yourself completely of what makes you feel comfortable, it can be short-lived as it’s difficult. Difficult, but possible, mind you. However, the gradual approach allows you to accrue small wins, and this is more effective as you’re teaching your mind to tolerate discomfort over time. In a long-term sense, there is less of a chance of you falling back into your comfort zone and losing progress. This can be as small as going one more day per week of abstaining from comfort – try experimenting with different gradual approaches. Keep in mind that aiming at even a 1% improvement from your last attempt will compound your ability to succeed. This is the action phase, critically important and what should be emphasized in understanding how to leave your comfort zone.

• Believe in Your Abilities: A confident mindset geared toward success is definitely not something to be overlooked – the mental game is half the battle in understanding how to leave your comfort zone. Visualization is powerful; try imagining your old self being left behind while your new, better self emerges. This will create a concrete goal in your mind, and once a goal is set with a sufficiently strong “why” behind it, discipline, determination and grit will flow more naturally. Once you feel the urge to fall back into comfort, you’re reminded of how dissatisfying it was to be the old you – a memory that should make discomfort sound more appealing. 

The 21st century is filled with potential distractions, some of which are destroying men from the inside. Dirty videos are among the worst outlets for a man’s mental and physical health, which is why mastering your sexual energy is so important. The following are the best nofap benefits:

• More Self-Confidence: To start, I’d like to say that nofap alone does not increase your self-confidence. This is a quality that must be brought to the surface by a number of other factors, most notably through a changed self-image. However, nofap allows you to enhance your self-image, which in turn has a positive effect on your self-confidence. The reason is that rather than engaging with a habit that you know to be degenerate, that you know to be shameful, you’re instead choosing to fight the powerful 21st century urge of getting off to women on a screen. It doesn’t make it any easier that social media has become hyper sexualized as well, which speaks to how mentally strong you have to be to follow through with this journey. So, the mere fact that you’re avoiding the easy path while building your sexual energy in the process will have you feeling as if you can take on any challenge or any endeavour. You will be seeing yourself in a different, positive light, and that changed perspective affects how you interact with the people around you – this being one of the more noticeable nofap benefits. You’ll also notice more sincerity in your words, a charming energy with women, and the ability to act more courageously and charismatically in general. Biologically speaking, this makes perfect sense as after 30 days of abstaining from this habit, testosterone increases substantially; and any man with high t-levels will naturally be able to think and behave in these ways. However, the process you choose to obey is really subjective; some guys prefer to abstain from all forms of release including sex, whereas some (like myself) abstain from porn and masturbation, but still have sex. 

• Enhanced Cognitive Functioning: There is a notion that men become hyper-intelligent when on the nofap journey. Napoleon Hill, the successful author of Think and Grow Rich, noted that men are able to access their creative capacities at a much deeper level when retaining their seed. And a process called sexual transmutation is what transforms such creatively intelligent thinking into inventions, art and other quality forms of output. You will no longer deal with brain fog as a result of your dopamine system being reset. When your brain is overstimulated with dopamine releases that require no effort, you’re essentially rewarding yourself so much that there is no internal drive to accomplish anything meaningful – such as an invention or art as mentioned. When you reset your dopamine system, you will feel more enjoyment for the small pleasures like enjoying food; while also having more of a mental capacity for producing work. I would say that this might be the most useful of the nofap benefits. Remember that remaining stagnant, wasting time on this journey is pointless. You must stay engaged with healthy and productive outlets to reap all of the benefits.

• Less Negative Emotion: Experiencing less negative emotion is optimal in your day-to-day, and this is yet another one of the powerful nofap benefits. If you’re going through a depressed stage in life or you’re simply more of a neurotic person, this is a great solution for you. Most importantly, stay away from porn. The reason is because, as mentioned, there is a sense of shame and regret felt after getting off to these videos. Consequently, these emotions will manifest themselves into low self-worth, sadness and embarrassment – all of which constitute a depressed state of mind. I can attest that once I abstained for at least two weeks, I felt a lot less anxious and depressed. You might also begin to feel more positive emotions like joy and excitement. 

• Higher Sex Drive: Since you’re not spilling your seed constantly on nofap, that sexual energy will build inside of you. Your testosterone will increase, and so will your urge to release. But because you’re not releasing the easy way, your brain will become more primed to search for sex. You’ll find that you’ll be approaching women more, and getting their attention and retaining their interest will be a much smoother process due to the testosterone spike. In these moments you’ll feel much more alive and masculine; this is the most important of all nofap benefits in terms of emphasizing your manhood, biologically speaking. Keep in mind that you will naturally feel horny more often throughout the day, and satisfying that urge with sex might not always benefit you. Sometimes clarity of mind is necessary in certain situations, so if you choose to go the sex route on nofap, it’s best to give it at least a few days in between sessions. 

Habits can make or break you in your life, so recognizing your bad ones – and the impact they have on you – is a start to improving your wellbeing. This is how to stop your bad habits: 

• Recognize the Root: Underneath the surface of your bad habits are hidden motivations. These usually come in the form of negative emotions, like sadness or frustration; or physiological and psychological sensations like stress. If you’re aware that your responses to these sensations are coping mechanisms – like smoking due to stress for instance – this is the first step in understanding how to stop your bad habits. That moment you realize why you’re doing what you’re doing can help you better understand the root triggers, which in turn will help you recognize that your response does not need to be habitually negative. 

• Understand That You Have Autonomy Over Your Choices: In keeping with the above point, it’s helpful to know that you have autonomy over your good and bad choices… at all times. Usually there is what’s called a signal that reminds you of your bad habit (in combination with the root trigger), and that signal drives you toward it. For example, if you’re struggling with overeating junk food, you might find that when you’re alone and bored, this environment signals to your brain that it’s time to indulge in excess. However, when that time comes, it’s not like someone’s holding a gun to your head and demanding you to eat two bags of chips; you’ve just convinced yourself that this signal means taking the easy, pleasurable route. To avoid this, while also using willpower and self-discipline, train your brain to connect the signal to a new, positive habit. From the example given, alone and bored could mean two things: overeat (bad habit), or work on your side hustle (good habit). In one study, participants chose the new habit 70% of the time when faced with this crossroad. However, that number dropped to 30% when they were faced with stress – which speaks to how important emotional control is. 

• Be Willing to Leave Your Comfort Zone: If your bad habit is merely a comfortable coping mechanism, you must be willing to leave that comfort zone. And this can only be achieved once you realize the toll the habit is taking on your life. When the connection is made between negative consequences and comfort, you can then start taking small steps toward detaching from that state. Once again, willpower and self-discipline will be vital to your success; so every time you feel the urge to take the easy path, embrace the feeling of discomfort while keeping your end goal in mind. Be sure to start small with incremental steps every day because this will train your brain to become familiar with discomfort – rather than stopping all at once. However, if you choose to go cold-turkey, be aware that this is much more difficult but still achievable. So you’re either gradually or fully leaving your comfort zone; but both routes equate to the same outcome. Crucially important in understanding how to stop your bad habits. 

• Think Longterm: Often when we engage with our bad habits, we like to place short term pleasure over long term consequences. But if you’re conscious of how your health or general wellbeing will be affected years from now, you may view your habit in a different way. It’s as simple as this: actions have consequences. This mindset should not be overlooked when prioritizing how to stop your bad habits. 

Sleep inertia is defined as the temporary time of sleepiness, disorientation and impaired cognitive performance upon waking. It’s a state of mind that I believe everyone can relate to, to some extent; here is how to avoid sleep inertia and how it affects your cognitive functioning:

• Get the Right Amount of Sleep: Firstly, to avoid sleep inertia, your most reliable preventive measure is getting an adequate amount of sleep. I used to believe that everyone needs the same amount of sleep to properly function physically, mentally and emotionally, but I’ve since learned that some people can actually operate on much less than others. Must be nice. So if you fall into this category, work with what is good for you. Once this has been made a priority, you’ll wake up more restored, energized and focused for the day ahead. 

• Don’t Hit Snooze: In my experience, waking up when my alarm goes off – and not hitting snooze  – makes all the difference when trying to avoid sleep inertia. That is, as long as I slept for 7-9 hours. This habit signals to your brain that your circadian rhythm is properly balanced by waking up at the same time every day, which enables a healthy state of mind in the morning. I also recommend investing in an actual alarm clock to avoid the temptation of looking at your phone first thing in the morning; and to keep it on the other side of your room so that you have to physically get out of bed to cancel it (which makes it easier for you to wake up right away). See below for a simple, modern one to add to your bedroom:

•  Prioritize Your Sleep Quality: Ensuring you have sufficient sleep quality is another way to avoid sleep inertia. This means not having to wake up periodically at night. To prevent that from happening, try making sure you have a proper wind-down period prior to getting into bed (with minimal light during the last hour), and/or take natural supplements to increase the production of melatonin in your body, like chamomile tea.  

• Ingest Caffeine in the Morning: If you find yourself in a situation where you’ve gone against all the points mentioned above, caffeine can help you avoid sleep inertia as a last resort. Whether taken through coffee, caffeine pills or energy drinks – and depending on your tolerance – this stimulant increases the number of dopamine receptors in your brain, benefiting your motivation and drive in the morning. It also is known to increase your alertness through the adenosine system; and increase epinephrin, which affects your adrenaline release. When all of these systems are activated, you’ll be sure to feel a reduction in the side effects of sleep inertia.

• Expose Yourself to Natural Sunlight: Within the first hour of waking, exposing yourself to natural sunlight outside is a great way to avoid sleep inertia. Doing so promotes wakefulness throughout the entirety of your day, which increases attention, focus and energy levels. This is not a measure to be taken lightly – it is deeply ingrained into our physiology as our bodies and minds are primed to respond positively to sunlight. 

How Does Sleep Inertia Affect Cognition?

Sleep inertia alters the ways in which you process information, which could affect your performance at work or ability to retain and understand information at school. Some studies have confirmed that not only a reduction in speed was found when performing cognitive tasks, but also accuracy. More studies arrived at the same conclusions, also citing cognitive functioning to take at least 10-30 minutes to kick in. Furthermore, it was established that those whose chronotypes (the natural inclination for your body to sleep at a certain time) were later took 10-20 minutes longer to perform well on cognitive tasks than those whose chronotypes were earlier. And the longer your duration of sleep inertia (sometimes reaching up to 4 hours), the more sleep deprived you are; although the data suggests that rarely will it exceed this timeframe if your sleep was of a healthy duration – subjective to you. 

An adequate amount of sleep (7-9 hours) is imperative for proper cognitive functioning, but additionally I find that if I hit snooze even once, for 5 minutes or more, it affects how quickly I process information, how quickly I adapt to my morning routine, and how energized I feel at the beginning of my day – sometimes lasting for hours. And all because of something as simple as hitting snooze. Conversely, if I focus on my discipline upon waking and get up as soon as my alarm clock goes off, I feel more driven, focused, emotionally balanced and energized. 

Why Is Self-Confidence Important?

Self-confidence is one of those qualities that will put you ahead in life. There is no way around the fact that acting, and more importantly thinking confidently will add value in all settings possible. You might be alone and working on something like a side project; and soon realize that self-confidence in your abilities, whatever they may be, will allow you to produce better work. You might be out one night with a friend or friends, and realize that without self-confidence, the chances of you getting that girl’s number are going to be very low. This is what I mean when I say that the setting does not matter. However, this is a multi-faceted quality that requires mastery of other qualities to really cultivate. Which is why I’d like to get into a full-fledged guide to building self-confidence:

Change Your Self-Image

Chances are, if you’re googling how to improve your self-confidence, it’s because you have a poor self-image This is the root of it all. It doesn’t make sense that someone could truly be self-confident if they constantly denigrate themselves or see themselves as inferior. Rather, a self-confident person carries high self-esteem and believes that they’re of value to the world. And sometimes this mindset requires radical change if you’re not necessarily in the best position in life. In other words, even when you shouldn’t see yourself as a valuable person to the world, you can still think that way. Even if others are questioning your worth. This is because you’re still going to go to bed and wake up the next morning as the same person. It’s not like you can just abandon who you are; you have to learn to love yourself. So even in the worst of times – down and out, without a job, without any women in your life or with a laughable reputation – it’s in your best interest to look internally at who you want to see yourself as. But don’t misinterpret this. Your situation might very well be undesirable; realistically, you might not have a lot of prospects if you continue down an aimless path. But you do not have to attach your identity to your situation.

Once you’ve found a positive, powerful view of yourself, then you can start operating with more self-confidence. Very seldom will you shy away in social settings as you’ll start realizing that no one is above you. Keep in mind, facts are facts: there will always be someone out there that has more than you, or is better than you at something, but that doesn’t mean they are worth more than you. Individually, you bring certain strengths to the table that another person does not; hence what it means to be an individual. Therefore, embracing your unique qualities and abilities will allow you to see yourself in a more positive light – and consequently shine that light while coexisting with others. And when alone, you’ll have no problem with being in your own company as you’re content with the image you’ve created of yourself. Why wouldn’t you enjoy contemplating, relaxing, working by yourself if you have such a powerful view?

I’ve been listening to a book called Psychocybernetics by Maxwell Maltz as he explains in detail how important this whole concept is to your wellbeing. I highly recommend checking it out using the link below.

Master Skills

Another trait that is crucial to building self-confidence is mastering a skill. Competence is confidence. When you hold authority over a particular domain, you have belief in your ability to do the task at hand. However, it’s best to narrow down on one thing at a time. For example, let’s say you want to become proficient at writing, photography and dancing, It’s a plus that your mind is broad enough to desire many abilities, but for the sake of clarity and focus, start with one. Let’s say writing. After doing your research and applying what you learn consistently, you’ll eventually become good at writing. Your self-confidence will then increase every time your life demands you to write because you took the time to master that skill (and there are plenty of times in life that writing will be necessary). Then, maybe as a possible passion of yours, you might want to take up photography. If this is something of interest to you, check out the brand Ulanzi here for all your video accessory needs. The same process applies, and eventually you can take pleasure in the fact that you have one more tool under your belt to possibly utilize. Plus, internet accessibility makes it easy to acquire new skills these days.

Push Just Beyond Your Sense of Fear

Come to terms with the fact that you have fears; an honest, growth-driven person is one who embraces them. Instead of driving your own ego, falsely convincing yourself that there is nothing you are afraid of, you could alternatively put yourself in a position to confront whatever it may be that’s holding you back. Then, just when you think you can’t go any further, push just beyond that sense of anxiety. In this process, you’re learning that you have more courage than previously thought; and courage is a stepping stone to self-confidence. This notion is actually found in David Deida’s book, The Way of the Superior Man. As a man, I highly recommend other men to read it as it covers many areas of developing your masculine frame; and personally, the point I just covered is among my favourite life lessons. 

In addition, I’m also taking into consideration that some people are simply less willing to put themselves in uncomfortable situations. If that’s the route you want to choose, just know that you won’t be able to grow emotionally and mentally. But I personally believe anyone is capable of doing so. So though it might require a radical shift in behaviour, you’d be surprised at how much you’ll learn about yourself and what you can do in life if you go beyond that uncomfortable point. Once you do it for the first time (if you haven’t already tried in the past), you’ll find that consistently trying it in other areas will increase your self-confidence over time. 

Stop Lying to Yourself and to Others

Lying is a bad habit that is usually learned early in life. You realized that you can get away with anything you want if you simply conceal the truth through your words. Due to how easy this is and what it could mean for your own personal gain, it might have been appealing then and even now. Now, assuming you have a conscience, think of one of the most blatant lies you ever told, and how you felt when you had to go to bed that night. Or even to this day when looking in hindsight. Yeah, you might have gotten what you wanted, but chances are that it made you feel worse about yourself knowing that you lacked courage and transparency in that moment. Not to mention knowing that your credibility would be shattered if others found out the truth. If this act becomes a habit in your life, does that sound like something that would positively or negatively impact your self-confidence? The answer is obvious. 

Now, look internally. What do you tell yourself every day about yourself or the world at large that you know to be false? There might be an underlying reason for that lie which helps justify your views, but you’ll only discover that if you dig deep into your psyche. Willful blindness – as heard in Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life – is a contribution to a lost grip on reality. To my earlier point about laying in bed, reflecting on your lies, the consequences of lying to yourself are arguably more serious because you have to live with the fact that you’re convincing yourself of things that are quite clearly untrue. And when – not if – you get a reality check, your self-esteem and perceptions will be shattered – along with your self-confidence. So do yourself a favour and tell yourself the truth, no matter how difficult. 

I learned something useful last year: that people’s personalities can be sectioned into one or two out of the five major personality traits. I’ll get into why this has been a useful discovery soon, but to continue, the types are neuroticism, extroversion, agreeableness, openness and conscientiousness.

Over the course of your life, you’ve probably been confused or frustrated over why some people behave in certain ways. I believe personality is one of the major answers to this question, along with life experience: all the way from the attention you receive as you’re raised, to unresolved personal trauma. Finally, hormones tie in as another contributor. I think the following could help you understand people’s behaviour better, which, by extension, could potentially improve the connections and relationships you have.

Personality and Perception

As you get older, you begin to understand how we’re different from one another – in terms of personality. Some are extroverted and always need to be around others to feel good, whereas some might be more closed in and prone to neurotic feelings. This is one of the ways we categorize each other, but it doesn’t usually stop people that are different from becoming friends.

It gives someone the chance to learn from someone else who behaves in ways that are different from their own, which might add value. For example, if someone isn’t structured in their life but needs to be, learning from a conscientious person would help. If someone is too agreeable and is becoming frustrated with how others walk all over them as a result, learning from a disagreeable person would help them become more assertive. In this sense, differences are important, and being cognizant of such differences also helps you understand people’s behaviour.

On that note, there are probably still times in which you’re not aware that someone’s personality affects how they act or react. And in neglecting this awareness – whether purposefully or not – you might end up judging what they said or did because you simply don’t understand (or do understand but are choosing to be wilfully blind). Assuming it’s the former reason, your judgement is also biased because your own personality affects how you perceive others.

I’ll give you an example: I have a Jamaican friend who I invited to the Italian celebration parade in Woodbridge after Italy won the European Cup in 2021 (I’m Italian on my Mom’s side). He declined the invitation, and the reason was because an Italian celebration “isn’t his scene”. One thing about me is that I’m a pretty open person, all things considered, so this made it hard for me to understand why he said no. It actually kind of offended me if I’m being honest. If I were invited to a celebration of another culture I’d accept (this actually happened in 2022 when I was invited to a Caribbean festival called Carabana) because openness is a part of my personality. It was only in hindsight that I understood my friend is less open to experience than me; and I was naive to think that all people are like me in this sense.

Another parallel to draw (which is relevant to today’s landscape) is if a naturally neurotic person goes through constant bouts of isolation and feeling depressed. Typically those who are low in negative emotion are the first to cast judgement on people who act this way; and it’s simply because they can’t relate. 

Hormones 

Another factor worth mentioning when considering behaviour in people is hormones. It seems obvious, or maybe not to some, but heathy or unhealthy hormone levels can be indicative of how others behave.

From the male side, just look at what happens if a man neglects his diet, sleep, exercise and discipline with regards to dopamine. I can attest that living unhealthily like this is an easy way to become more reserved, more depressed, less energetic and less driven in both a cognitive and sexual sense. All because testosterone levels have dropped. Men that are exhibiting these signs can be described as behaviourally different, whether by close friends, family, coworkers or women.

On the flip side, a man who is engaged in his responsibilities, and shows less negative emotion is likely on the opposite end of the tesotsterone spectrum. Women will notice a satisfactory sex drive; friends and family may notice an upswing in positive emotion and confident body language; coworkers may notice more attention to detail and quality output, and all of these parties, including that man himself, will notice a more driven, masculine presence.

There is also a positive correlation between testosterone, aggressiveness and dominance. Dominance of course being the more socially acceptable trait. Studies conducted on socially dominant, non-aggressive prisoners (an extreme but relevant example) concluded that they had high plasma testosterone levels, however the aggressive inmates surpassed them in that category. In the right situations, though, this trait could come in handy. If you’re cornered somewhere and flight is out of the question but fight is the only option, aggressiveness might prove to save your life.

Generally, the same behaviour typical of men with low testosterone can be seen in women with low estrogen. Withdrawn body language and poor social engagements are common as a result of more depressed, anxious and irritable feelings. Masculine characteristics and behaviour would likely be seen if testosterone levels overturned estrogen.

When e-levels are high in women (though this varies from person to person), this can lead to improved mood, increased energy levels and internal feelings of well-being – which translates to more positive social engagements. I want to add that healthy or unhealthy hormone levels are one of the more subtle indicators that help you understand people’s behaviour; unless there are obvious signs, such as a man who lacks any muscle, has a higher-pitched voice and exhibits no masculine behaviour.

The Impact of Nurture

It’s absolutely the case that the way someone is raised influences their behaviour later in life. This includes, most importantly, the level of attention received in your younger years by parental figures. Evidence suggests that inadequate care during the first few years of life will turn a child antisocial and hostile, which continues as the child ages. Eventually, these types are more likely to become societal outcasts and criminals.

In his book The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk says, “The more responsive the adult is to the child, the deeper the attachment and the more likely the child will develop healthy ways of responding to the people around him” (van der Kolk 112-113). Here’s a link to the book; I recommend reading it for a deeper dive on trauma. He also credits a man named John Bowlby, a renowned psychiatrist, for creating what’s called attachment theory – the notion that developing a relationship with at least one parent serves as a foundation for normal socialization in later years.

So consider this when you come across people that are not as integrated into society as typically seen, whether it was someone at school when you were a kid or someone on the street passed out later in life. I see this as one of the definite markers that will help you understand people’s behaviour.

Then there are the always important factors of environment and trauma. These components play their own roles within the broad spectrum of nurture, and sometimes they’re interlinked. The environment someone is raised in could very well be the source of that person’s trauma.

A study for Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) presents a questionnaire that delves into possible scarring events that people might have been subjected to as kids. The data from participants concludes that if the ACE score exceeds 4 for someone (10 being the highest a person can rank), they are more likely to be chronically depressed as adults; with other high-risk behaviours being smoking, obesity, unintended pregnancies, multiple sexual partners, and contraction of STI’s.

Sources

• Giammanco, M. (2005). Testosterone and aggressiveness. Medical Science Monitor, 11(4). RA136-145.
• Morgan, M.A., Schulkin, J., Pfaff, D.W. Estrogens and non-reproductive behaviors related to activity and fear. (2004). ScienceDirect, 28(1), 55-63. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2003.11.017
• van der Kolk, Bessel. The Body Keeps the Score. Penguin Books, 2014.

We’re living in a highly innovate, but strange time. There’s so much information at our disposal (even though it’s up to you to parse out what’s true and what’s not), so many people to connect with and potentially connect with, and a lot more ways to make money for yourself as a result of social media. That’s where the innovation comes in, and these are good things. But what happens when you choose to use platforms like Instagram, TikTok or Facebook purely for entertainment, and let the algorithms consume you? There are a few reasons why this can be detrimental to your mental health, cognition levels and general drive in life.

And let’s not pretend like you don’t have any control over this matter. You do, and that’s that. If you’re one to mindlessly scroll down your timelines, you’re choosing to do this and not something else you know is productive. But I think even the most disciplined in this regard still slip up and catch themselves going on Instagram once in a while for a laugh, and longer than intended. It’s a widespread consequence of living in the digital era. That said, I think it’s important to be aware that this use of your time says quite a bit about where you are in the system, and that your mind is suffering as a result of excessive use of social media.

Social Media and Dopamine

Platforms are designed to grab your attention and keep you engaged for as long as possible. On the consumerist side – to leave out the productive side – it’s an effortless way to access your reward and motivational circuits for the purpose of emotional release. The notion that it’s as easy as picking up your phone and turning on an app is important to take into consideration. Combine that effortless process with extended periods of leisure time and you’re left with a fried dopamine system. This will make it more difficult to find enjoyment in the small and bigger moments in life; and as a result you’ll be less engaged with what’s going on. 

As a teenager, young adult or adult, the solution for this is simple: to reduce the amount of time spent on social media or delete the apps altogether for a little while. Andrew Huberman mentioned on a podcast episode that he had a friend whose teenage son had a video game problem. This kid found it difficult to concentrate at school and was losing his drive toward responsibilities in his life. So, he cut out video games and all other forms of dopamine release (including social media on smart phones), and after 29 days, regained concentration, stabilized his mood and generally improved his life. A fast from activities or substances that require no real effort on your end will go a long way for your mental health and cognitive functioning. In the case of younger kids, I think it becomes more difficult to control excessive use of social media unless parents are monitoring their usage. I say this because there are going to be settings in which parents aren’t there, like school or at friend’s houses; or conversely for the parents that don’t care about their usage, there is no telling how far gone their kid could could become. When you’re that young, you don’t really understand what’s good for you and what isn’t – so there is no internal motivation to take breaks from pleasure. I can only imagine what the consequences might be in these brain-developing years. 

A Lack of Personal Contentment 

It’s natural to look up to those who are successful, or whose qualities are considered superior. The aim is to take note of what they’re doing differently than the average person, hopefully to one day elevate your own status; this is our imitative capacity being brought to the surface. And social media is the perfect outlet to allow you to see exactly who you want to see. Not to mention the algorithms that push content toward you, tailored to your interests and taste. The problem is, the notion that seeing this content will create a drive in you to improve your life, or even to simply admire another while appreciating your own, isn’t always true for everyone. Maybe it should first be emphasized that there are people out there who will always have more than you, no matter who you are, so that at least there’s an understanding to prepare you for what you’ll see. But we have a proclivity to compare ourselves with others as status, power, desirable physical and mental attributes, and resources are among the most innate human desires. And in doing that, we lose gratitude for what is in our own lives. A lack of gratitude is an easy contributor to poor mental health. 

That said, the younger crowds, once again are suffering the most. Easily impressionable and more narrow-minded as a result of little life experience, it’s easy to see why kids are more depressed in the digital era than ever before. Not to mention how normal it’s considered nowadays to be immersed online for long periods of time. Without a break from it at least once in a while, you’re not really giving yourself a chance to appreciate what you have in reality. That also goes for anyone of any age choosing excessive use of social media. 

Misinformation

It’s clear that as we gravitate more toward excessive use of social media for entertainment and pleasure, we also do so to keep tabs on current events. Platforms are integrating all forms of media, including news, to consolidate everything a person would want or need online. But what you’re informed of online is not always true; individuals and companies have incentives to misinform the public on a range of topics. It’s become so prevalent that there are actual organizations dedicated to fact-checking what is being pushed, such as the CrossCheck project in France. Profit and agenda-pushing are two reasons that come to mind for intentionally spewing false information. But I think it becomes more difficult to discern the truth the more time you spend online, and consequently, the more you see the way others are reacting to it (as social psychology makes it clear that we make decisions around things based on what others are saying or doing). I sometimes have to catch myself if I don’t question all the facts in a story I read on Instagram. Can’t assume it’s fully true. 

This brings me smoothly into the next point: that as we lose our grip on what is true, we contribute to the problem further by reposting and sharing to others what we assume is the case. In a study using 1000 people, participants were given true and false content to discern from. 32.4% more were willing to share false headlines than rated them as accurate. So in this case, if something as intriguing at face value as a headline appears convincing enough, actual information aside, some are likely to believe it and attempt to inform others of the story. And once it’s shared, not only do that person’s followers see it, but there is potential for some of those people to share it if found convincing enough; turning into a whole network of people being mislead. 

Time Wasted

If you’re avidly on social media, find out how much time you’re spending on your favourite platforms. This isn’t hard as smart phones have screen time information for individual apps. I’d say that if it’s above an hour, consider what else you could be doing in that time. And think productively. Once you’re aware of not only the amount of time you’re spending, but how you’re spending this time, you might have an epiphany. I used to waste my time with all sorts of outlets, starting with social media, then Netflix, video games and dirty websites. But from age 23 onward, I gradually reduced these distractions from my life after realizing what else I could be doing. And social media is arguably the most subtly detrimental of them all; it’s disguised as a way to stay informed of what other people are doing and what’s going on in the world, but in actuality it’s an endless source of entertainment and dopamine. At least with some other outlets, you know you’re intending to waste your time with them. 

Using Platforms to Your Advantage: Producing vs. Consuming

If you don’t watch Netflix or even have a subscription to it, good on you. One less distraction in life. But we all have entertainment vices, and mine is Netflix (but not as a daily habit); although, I can count on one hand how many times a year I’ve binged watched a show since 2021, plus a few documentaries. One of the documentaries that I came across last year was The Social Dilemma. For the sake of perspective, I recommend watching it if you have’t already (assuming you have a Netflix subscription). One of the key themes from it that hasn’t left my mind is that social media is free because you are the product. Attention is their currency. This means that the people who work for Instagram and Meta are constantly tracking your activity (as a consumer), creating personalized algorithms according to your specific interests. Once the algorithms are set in place, the content you watch is designed to evoke emotion, ensuring that they retain as much of your attention as possible. That said, do you really want to be someone else’s puppet? Does the pleasure of entertainment outweigh the reality that you’re being used for a company’s benefit?

Contrarily, the notion of being a producer of content made me rethink the way these apps could be used. By using an app like Instagram as a platform for your business, website or content, you’re avoiding the trap of falling victim to the algorithms, and by extension the companies, while simultaneously leveraging a free means of self-promotion. We’ve established why the apps are free, so why not reverse the intention? In other words, you’re intended to consume content in the algorithms from the company’s point of view. To them, that’s what you’re on the app for. But if most of what you do there is promote your business, you’re now the one who’s leveraging potential profit rather than the developers. However, even if you are using it in a more productive way, I think it’s still easy to fall into the consumer trap; so it’s best to be aware of how often you’re on these platforms and discipline yourself accordingly. 

Sources

• Pennycook, G., et al. (2020). Fighting COVID-19 Misinformation on Social Media: Experimental Evidence for a Scalable Accuracy-Nudge Intervention. Sage Journals, 31(7). https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797620939054.